My 3 years younger sister was visiting me during winter time. I was 19, living upstairs of a Finnish-American couple in a small city in East Finland. I had my own room upstairs – very tiny, just enough for two people to sleep in. I let my sis sleep on my couch, as I didn’t have a bed, and I made myself a bed on the floor next to the tall cupboards. The doors were wooden, light in color.
I laid on my stomach peacefully, arms under my pillow and my head resting against the pillow. I was waiting for to fall asleep and I felt myself very relaxed. Just like before you actually fall asleep. Suddenly I felt like someone would have took a hold from my ankles with both hands and started yanking my legs upwards, like trying to flip me over. I know my legs were on the mattress, so I though “This feels rather strange, like someone’s yanking me”. The force – whatever it was – yanked my legs pretty high, maybe 50cm/19,5 inches upwards, and on the third yank I flew out of my body. It happened so fast, it didn’t even took a second! It felt like it all happened in 000.1 second. I think I came out through my legs, as I literally felt yanked out by the force which was playing with my ankles.
I found myself standing in a COMPLETE emptiness. There was NOTHING in there. It was pitch black, so black and empty that even the color black didn’t exist there. There was no direction, no time, so sound, no smell, nothing. Absolutely nothing. There are no words in this Earth in ANY language which could describe this complete emptiness. Even the word complete emptiness makes no sense, as emptiness is something that exists, but in that black space nothing existed. Nothing. It was overwhelmingly dark.
I looked around in panic thinking “Oh my god, I’m out of my body and I have no idea how to get back!!” I was wearing blue loose pants and a pale colored t-shirt, but those weren’t my clothes normal clothes.
I stood there in one spot, too scared to move, and I most likely looked like a deer in headlights ready to be ran over! I simply just knew I couldn’t find my way back by myself. I felt that I was horribly far away from my body, I could just feel that my body wasn’t even close by – like I had entered a completely different dimension and I couldn’t cross the space between the dimensions. Imagine you are in your home and suddenly get yanked in 000.1 second to the remote and isolated location on the completely different side of the globe, and left there alone without any money or way to get back home.
I had just recently started to read a lot about spiritual themes, like angels. I had always been interested in parapsychology and other unworldly matters, ever since I was 6. When I learned to read at age of 7, I hoarded all “strange” books I could find from the library. So, shifting this interest to spiritual growth and understanding oneself and this world was just natural step to me at the age of 19. My friend was a far more educated with these matters, as both of her parents were spiritualists and had raised her with the belief is Universal Laws. We meditated once with her, asking help from archangel Michael to my worries. Back then I had felt his presence behind me, and when the meditation was over I told about this to my friend. She smiled me and said “Yes, I felt and saw him, too. He stood behind you with a loving smile”. That’s how I had seen him inside my head during the meditation, too. After that I started to learn more about the angels as spiritual helpers and guides (for me they didn’t belong to any religion, they were just spirits called angels).
As there was nothing that existed in that emptiness and I didn’t even know where I should head to, as nothing made sense there, I remembered angels. So I yelled “Angels! Help me! Come to help me!” (something like that, I was so in panic I can’t remember the exact words).
As soon as I had yelled that, two huge male figures in white robes came to me. They had loose sleeves and little belts, like leather robes. I don’t remember seeing their feet. They just floated and basically flushed in a one “whoosh!” to me. They had no wings or anything similar trademark to an angel, except the clothes. They were at least 2,5m/8.2f. tall, but I don’t know was it that they were really that huge or was it because I felt myself very small and vulnerable out there, like I would have been a very tiny mouse… Somehow I have a feeling I wasn’t there in my full spiritual glory, but very shrank version of it due fear.
The man with wavy brown hair took hold on my left hand, standing on my left, and the blond man with kind of similar hairstyle took hold of my right hand, standing on my right. I was like a very tiny child in between their parents!
Next I saw myself standing high in the air, from the outside viewer’s perspective, like I would watched the event from TV or from book. It was a light summer night (summer nights are like a bit dim days in Finland), in a remote place in Finland. Remember that in physical reality there was winter with snow in Finland. There was a sand road between two small fields of hay, which were surrounded by deep spruce forests. There was this old hay barn, the ones you see pretty much everywhere in the hay fields, where farmers grow their hays. There were wooden phone lne going next to the other side of the sand road, and I stood above one of the poles, both angels still on my sides. I spend years thinking this scene might have been just my imagination and it never happened, as it sounded crazy – how can one see herself standing in the air from other person’s perspective, like you sometimes see dreams of yourself where you inspect your dream self as an invisible watcher. In 2012 I found Anita Moorjani’s book – 10 years later after this event – and I learned the first time that vision like this was normal when you were out of your body. Countless experiences in NDERF helped me with this, too.
This inspection time lasted perhaps 4 seconds and then I was again seeing with my eyes, like the way we do in physical body. I felt the angels holding my hands. I looked below and I was so high. In my head a fear ran through me; what if my hold slips from the angels’ hold and I either drop down or what worse, get sucked again into completely nonsense place?
The blond angel on my right heard my fear, even when I didn’t say anything. He said to me “Don’t worry, I can also carry you”. Then we where back in that black nothingness and the brown haired angel was gone. The blond angel took me into his lap, in princess carry hold, but he was SO, SO HUGE I fit perfectly on his upper arms. He bend his forearms over me, and he was so huge the forearms or palms didn’t even touch me. On top of that he drew his face closer to me, protecting me with also with his head. I wrapped my arms around his neck and I didn’t even manage to get them wrapped so that my fingers would have touched each other. I have to say that I’m very short woman, only 153cm/5′ so my arms’ length when combined together is around 150cm/a bit less than 5′, but I felt that despite my tiny size the man was still very huge. He would have appeared as huge to anyone else, too. Maybe no one could wrap their arms around his neck completely! I made some measurements with objects later, comparing them to my own body and how I fitted into his arms and how my size was compared to him. I figured out that I was most likely just the size of his leg from a foot up to a knee. He wasn’t this big when he came to me with the brown haired angel, but he got this big when he picked me up into his hold.
I was dazed by all of this that for a second I lost ability to speak or think. He looked very humanly, like any other beautiful blonde man with manly nose and beautiful eyes (perhaps they were blue). His hair was very vibrant in the blond color, almost shiny. His skin was pale and I remember that there was this sort of golden hue lingering on him; on skin, hair, robes ect. I saw his face from the side only. He made no eye contact with me and he had very calm but completely unreadable look on his face. Almost “blank” if you can use that word in positive context. He felt extremely calm and relaxed, like imagine being in completely panic and a someone is there being calm next to you, completely unaffected by the events disturbing you. They don’t show any specific emotions and radiate anything specific, but you feel very safe and calm.
I was surprised that he was so considering and very kind to me, clearly wanting me to feel safe and calmed down. I had had negative experiences with my father, who was emotionally distant and secretly hated me for being born and forcing him to be a father, so I really didn’t put words “men” and “safety” and “concern of your well-being” in the same word. His brotherly kindness and the calm feeling, his willingness to help a stranger, felt so surprising to me. Perhaps in some level I had expected a female angel or an angel with no visible gender to come to my help.
I managed to find my voice, after staying in his hold for a while. “Thank you”, I tottered, “but I’m really scared and I just want to go back home”. I spoke these words with my lips moving, like speaking out loud.
“No problem. I’ll take you there”, he replied telepathically and I could tell he was smiling without really having any smile on his face.
Everything went black in my eyes for 000.2 seconds and next thing I saw was my body on the blue mattress, in the position I had “left” it there. My vision was spinning with a very fast pace as I was spinning down to my body. I could see the doors of my cupboard, even when my physical eyes where shut, when I felt how I was being gently places back to my body. It took some time actually, maybe 15 seconds, as the angel – who I couldn’t see anymore – made extra care that my soul would be attached back well. Like fitting something JUST FITTING into this mold. When I felt that I was completely in, there was a short silence, until I heard the angel spoke to me lovingly, still smiling “You can start to wake yourself up slowly now”.
Almost right after that I “woke up”, aka my body opened its eyes and started to move. I had seen everything around me even with eyes closed, so it really didn’t feel like waking up from a sleep, but regaining control of your body. I was very scared afterwards, too, as I feared that if I lie down again, I will again end up into that horrible nothingness. Like there would be nothing stopping it from happening again.
After the experience I wanted to try out automatic writing and contact the blonde man who had saved me. I reached him quite easily. He introduced himself as my guardian angel/spirit called Athamaijos. The brown haired man was “his brother”, as he stated it, called Plotemaijos, though I don’t think he meant it as similar to physical sibling relationship. When I asked where I had been, he answered that I had ended up into a space between Living and Spirit worlds. To be honest I didn’t believe this! I thought I had imagined this explanation myself and I wasn’t really writing automatically. 3-4 years later I was reading a spiritual book, which said there was a space between Living and Spirit worlds, and that the space was completely dark with nothing in there. I immediately new that was the place where I had been – and that I hadn’t imagine the written answer from the blonde man. Reading later NDEs I came across with this same darkness in the experience stories.
I didn’t get out of the body anymore after that. No getting sucked out to random places. I have had clear dreams where I’m out of body, and those feel really wonderful! In one dream God showed me how it feels to die; The God pushed me down with his light and my soul started to ascend slowly, with a rocking movement. The higher I got the more full of love, joy, peace and calmness I felt. Then I started to decent and the closer my body I get, the more heavy and hard everything felt. Like being pushed into a wayyyyy to tiny back. When I was in my body I stood up and sighed to the God and 3 spirits inspecting me; “That was the most amazing thing and dying feels so, so wonderful, but I’m not ready to die yet. I’ve got lots of plans for this life time and for those plans I will need my body”. Then I woke up.
Athamaijos – the man saving me – became important spiritual guide to me. I often talked with him and I was able to first write down his answers and later hear him in my head. I still talk with him occasionally, though he has clearly given me more space to figure things out myself, now that I have grown spiritually to more confident and stronger woman. I was always happy when I met spiritual people who could see spirits, and they described my angel as a blond man with this certain hairstyle, a having white robes and a golden hue. He helped me with my first meditations and I often saw him when I meditated. Sometimes I felt his touches, too. I know it’s his job to look after me till the day I die, and maybe he accompanies me through out every life time.
I have added drawings of the experience here to show you how it was and what I saw. I saw the brown haired man only slightly but I have a feeling he had blue eyes. I’m not sure of the blonde man’s eye color either but brown felt somehow right. These are just fast doodles.
Celestial reasoning 